You Can Shift the Energy

How to reconnect when things feel off

Our kids don’t remember our exact words, it’s actually the feeling or tone that sticks with them. Not just how we sound, but how it feels to be around us, the energy in the room and the vibe of our expectations. They remember if they felt seen and understood, or if they had to tiptoe around us. They remember whether they felt safe enough to be themselves or if they had to stay small to keep the peace.

They don’t remember the schedule we maintained or how many tasks we helped them complete. What stays with them is how they felt around us and whether love came freely or felt like something they had to earn. They remember if they could come to us when they were afraid, or if they learned to keep difficult things to themselves.

No matter how old they are—even in high school, college, or beyond—the need for connection stays the same. The relationship is always changing and evolving, but the foundation still comes from how we show up. Our kids will always want to feel seen by us, hoping we meet them with curiosity rather than control.

If you’re trying to connect with your kids, or if something between you feels a little off, the suggestions below might help. It doesn’t take grand gestures or long emotional talks, just small signals that you’re paying attention and that the relationship matters.