Remember to Remember

Staying close to what’s possible and what’s wonderful.

There’s a lot going on, and while I’m committed to not letting the outside world steal my joy, some days it feels impossible. Despair creeps into social media, into our conversations, and into my very being.

We can’t escape what’s difficult and true—nor should we. But while acknowledging it, we can also remember what’s wonderful.

Here are 10 things that fall into my wonderful category. Feel free to share some of yours in the comments—or at least keep enjoying them and sharing them with the people you love.

1. ZenCon25

This was our final conference, and oh, was it wonderful! Our friend Dr. John Duffy wrote a lovely post about it, and all I can say is that this annual event has always reminded me of how many good people are in the world—people who care, who show up every day, who prioritize their loved ones, and who do what they can to learn and make a difference.

While the Zen Parenting Conference has come to an end, Zen Parenting—and more specifically, Todd and I—will continue finding new and creative ways to bring people together, reminding each other that we’re not alone and that we can make a difference together. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

2. This week, we released our 800th episode of Zen Parenting Radio!

Todd and I started Zen Parenting Radio in 2011, and aside from a few missed days due to deaths in the family or a really bad case of the flu, we’ve recorded and posted a podcast every Tuesday for 14 years. Click to listen and subscribe.

3. Restoring Our Girls Live Events!

On Saturday, February 22^nd Dr. John Duffy and I will be discussing Restoring Our Girls & Rescuing Our Sons at Barbara’s Bookstore in Yorktown Mall – we love a good Q&A, so please click below to register and join us!

On Wednesday, February 26th, I will be at Zibby’s Bookshop in Santa Monica to discuss Restoring Our Girls and Todd will be facilitating the Q&A!

4. Restoring Our Girls Book Clubs

If your group picks Restoring Our Girls as your book, I would be happy to join via zoom for Q&A! Respond to this email for more information.

5. What People Think About You

I took a screenshot of this quote this week (I don’t know the original author) and have already found five opportunities to share it. Seems like it struck a helpful nerve.

6. I Love Shows—Especially Award Shows!

Severance is back! Yellowjackets Season 3 is back on 2/14! Stranger Things Season 5 drops sometime this year! And get your ballots ready because Grammys are on Sunday & Oscars are on 3/2!

7. Good Books

My friend Shaun gave me his copy of Complicit: How Our Culture Enables Misbehaving Men to read, and I gave him my copy of Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes. Two great books we’re excited to share—both of which can make us rethink what it means to speak truth to power.

8. Glen Phillips from Toad the Wet Sprocket

Glen was our musical guest at ZenCon25 - I loved and appreciated his performance (I shared on Instagram and our podcast the history behind my love of their music). Hearing him sing live on Friday brought back the deep cuts that have always meant the most to me, along with the big hits—like the one below.

9. Gen X Movies

This week, The Rewatchables podcast discussed Before Sunrise—one of the best Gen X movies, with two equally great sequels. Which movies do you think define Gen X?

My obvious list includes: Before Sunrise, Reality Bites, Singles, Swingers, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Risky Business, Sixteen Candles, Say Anything, Footloose, Halloween, Airplane, and Wall Street.

My more obscure list includes: Chasing Amy, Walking and Talking, Boyz n the Hood, Better Off Dead, The Sure Thing, The Lost Boys, and High Fidelity.

I know you’re arguing with me right now… so what are your favorites?

10. Remember to Remember

One of our conference's goals this weekend was to encourage a more grassroots approach to leadership—one that starts with what we do at home. The focus is on our families, our communities, and, yes, the broader aspects of our government—but not to the point where we become exhausted, overwhelmed, or unable to recognize what’s good in the world.

Anne Lamott shared this article in The Washington Post this week, and many were angry about it—either disagreeing with her perspective or taking issue with her association with the Post. As I read her work, I recognized the nuance, the paradox, and the insight of a thoughtful, experienced person sharing what she believes might help right now.

You might hit a paywall when you click the link, so here are a few quotes I appreciated:

…We do what’s possible. So we are kind to ourselves. We take care of the poor. We get hungry kids fed. We pick up litter.

…It is in the bags of groceries we keep taking to food pantries. It looks like generosity, like compassion.

…I tell them what Susan B. Anthony’s grandniece said…she told her therapy clients that in very hard times, we remember to remember. Remember that the light always returns. Remember earlier dark nights of the soul, for ourselves, our families and our nation, when we fell in holes way too deep to ever get out of.

As we read about fires, unqualified government appointees, plane crashes, and all the other challenges in our lives, we remember to remember what we have and what we can do.

We show up. We create and do things that matter. We read and sleep to become wiser and more capable. And we enjoy things simply because they bring us joy—because they are wonderful.