A Guide to Understanding Teen Slang Without Embarrassing Yourself

How to Catch the Vibe Without Taking the L

Last week, Todd and I were working with some dads and their adolescent daughters around communication and connection. We talked to the dads about their own self-awareness, energy, and word choice, and we also introduced them to some of the slang their daughters use, and even quizzed them a bit to see what they recognized. They did surprisingly well, and their daughters loved sharing and explaining the words.

Six months from now, we would probably have new words to talk about because things change fast. I have a 22-year-old, a 20-year-old, and a 17-year-old, and while there’s been a little bit of overlap, the slang has been different for each of them. My older two had their own, and they don’t always know all of their sister’s words. She’s using what’s current now, and it’s always shifting.

At our Zen Parenting Conference this year we also made slang a priority topic, not because we as parents need to use it (even though I find myself using these words occasionally), but because it’s good to understand without asking hella questions, so we can lock in and stop acting like an unc. On God, it’s good to tap into some main character energy, let the kids cook, and maybe even catch the aura instead of killing the vibe. High key, when you know the language, you’re less likely to take the L in conversation.

With that in mind, I wanted to offer you a kind of dictionary. Not all-inclusive by any means, and definitely still questionable in the eyes of my 17-year-old. Like the slang we grew up with, these words are loose and always evolving, not meant to be defined too precisely or taken too literally. But this can be a starting point, a way to try to understand or relate when your kids are asking questions or sharing:

LIL BRO
Definition: Originally used to belittle someone or imply they’re being naive, but now used playfully or affectionately.
Lil bro really thought he could carry all those bags himself, he tried though.

CAP
Definition: A lie, not true.
You said you ran a 4-minute mile? That’s cap.

RIZZ
Definition: Charisma or flirtation skills.
He walked in and used all his rizz on her.

ATE
Definition: Performed exceptionally well.
She ate that outfit, no crumbs left.

COOKED
Definition: Destroyed or defeated, sometimes mentally overwhelmed.
After that exam, I’m cooked.

NO CAP
Definition: Honestly, for real.
This pizza is the best I’ve had, no cap.

FACTS
Definition: Strong agreement.
School is draining—facts.

HELLA
Definition: Very or a lot of.
It’s hella cold outside today.

DIABOLICAL
Definition: Shocking or over-the-top.
Posting that throwback pic was diabolical.

GANG
Definition: Term of endearment for a friend or group of friends.
Those are the people in my group, we gang.

TAKE THE L
Definition: Accept a loss or defeat.
You forgot your lines, just take the L.

FINNA
Definition: About to.
I’m finna head out soon.

BET
Definition: Okay, sure, or agreed.
You bringing snacks? Bet.

UNC
Definition: Older person, used playfully for someone outdated or trying too hard.
Relax unc, it’s not that deep.

LOCKED IN
Definition: Focused and determined.
We locked in for playoffs.

CORE
Definition: Something deeply associated with identity or aesthetic.
That outfit is giving main character core.

MID
Definition: Mediocre or disappointing.
Everyone hyped that song but it’s mid.

TOUCH GRASS
Definition: Go outside, implying someone is too online or needs a reality check.
You’re arguing over a cartoon, go touch grass.

RENT FREE
Definition: Living in your mind without effort or permission.
She’s still mad about it? I’m living rent free in her head.

AURA
Definition: The vibe or energy someone gives off.
His aura had everyone paying attention like he ran the place.

YOU’RE SELLING
Definition: Messing up or failing under pressure.
You missed the open shot, you’re selling!

HIGH KEY
Definition: Obviously or openly.
I high key love this song.

HYPE
Definition: Excitement or build-up.
The hype around this concert is real.

LOW KEY
Definition: Secretly or subtly.
I low key wanna leave early.

TYPE SHIT
Definition: Used for emphasis at the end of a statement, casual slang filler.
We’re figuring it out as we go, type shit.

CHOPPED
Definition: Not attractive or unimpressive.
That haircut is chopped.

CRACKED
Definition: Unbelievably good or skilled, used a lot in gaming.
He’s cracked at Fortnite.

IT’S GIVING…
Definition: Used to describe a vibe or association.
It’s giving rich guy vibes.

FITTED UP
Definition: Wearing a well-put-together outfit.
You came fitted up and low key shut it down.

ON GOD
Definition: Swear it’s true, for real.
That was the worst movie I’ve seen, on God.

Once you know them, you might find yourself adding them to your own conversations… or not. But at least your kid can talk to you without you saying, What does that mean? or Can you start over? or anything else that breaks the flow or disrupts the connection.

I wish I had more video or audio of me using the language I spoke in high school. I know I used typical Gen X slang (awesome, no duh, chill, grody, bummer, like, totally) but with my friends, and in my high school, we had our own rhythm and way of using words, too. I think everyone did. It was a kind of shorthand that made us feel like we belonged, like we were in on something together.

And that’s what we need to remember with our kids, that they’re not just using slang, they’re building something. They’re claiming space, creating connection, shaping identity. We don’t have to speak it, we just have to make room for it.

p.s. Got this text from my daughter - “That college is hella hitting me up on email so we have to lock in & visit.”